My Cat

Right from childhood, I have been a connoisseur of cats – both the two legged and four legged variety. Forty years down the line including twenty years of marriage, my fascination still persists albeit only for the four legged variety.

We have one in the house – a spoilt tomcat whose only interest in life is sleeping, eating and chasing insects. And yes – he allows you to scratch his ears when he wants them scratched or when he feels you have been good enough to deserve the privilege.

Last night, we discovered that a rat has chosen our house as his abode. Obviously the rat found it to his liking since he was merrily prancing around. Spunky – our cat- sniffed the rat’s trail curiously, raised an eye st us reprimanding us for keeping a sloppy house and promptly went back to sleep. Obviously, chasing rats is not one of his passions in life. He is a cuddly furry cat who relishes his Whiskas and sleep.

And I  love him insanely and unconditionally. He jumps on me when I am fast asleep, he breaks crystal, he spoils the leather sofa, he sits in front of the screen when i am typing the most important email – I don’t grudge him anything. He has my permission to do anything if it pleases him and makes him happy.

After his reprimand regarding the rat in my house, I started thinking as to why I love him so much. For all practical purposes, he serves no specific purpose in my life. I definitely don’t love my wife unconditionally or insanely, even the love for my kids is bound by certain expectation and desire for keeping my genes immortal. Honestly speaking, I am incapable of loving any human being unconditionally. But this brat cat can do whatever he wants and I will still love him. Why?

The surprising answer is that I have no expectation from my relationship with the cat. I love him for what he is and nothing more. There are no ego issues, no element of control involved in our relationship. His reprimanding eyes do not strike at the core of my existence nor does my shooing him away makes him feel unwanted. Do I do him a favour by feeding and sheltering him? I never think of it that way and in any case, he provides me immense joy by his very existence, by his being around me. It is not a dominate-subjugate relationship, its and independent, free and co existing relationship.

My lament is – why can’t I have a relationship like that with another human being?

दूजी पाती

December 1990. During the ISABS workshop on the first day,  participants were asked to introduce themselves. This was my introduction. It still is. पंथी एकाकी जीवन की मैं यूँ पथ पर चलते चलते ढूडूँ खुद को हर ओर छोर हर नहर ड़गर आँगन अंबर पतझड के एक झंकोरे से पाती हूँ मैं, उड़ उड़ जाती … Continue reading दूजी पाती

अक्सर

From the diary of 1986 सर्दियों के घने कुहाँसे में अक्सर धुंदला सा एक चेहरा उभरता है उस चेहरे को एक बार फिर करीब से देखने को जी करता है और इसी कोशिश में अक्सर खिड़कियों के काँच जख्म दे जातें हैं रूह सहम सी जाती है और वह धुंदलाता चेहरा परछाईं बन अंधकार में … Continue reading अक्सर

साये

From the pages of my very old diary. I wrote this one 23 years back, in 1988. उजड़े मकानों के साये में, उसी राह के मोड़ पर वह अचानक टकराना नज़रें मिलाना परिचय की कौंध का पल को उभरना और लुप्त हो जाना अनपहचाने चेहरों  का लिबास ओढ़े आहिस्ता से गुज़र जाना फिर किसी विध्वंसक … Continue reading साये

चाँद का आइना

कल शब बड़ी देर तक निकला रहा चाँद चाँदनी गिरती ओस को पिरोती रही रात घिरती रही कल शब तुम्हारी अलसाई बाहों में आने को मचलता रहा चाँद बेदम ठंड़ी साँसो को गर्म करता रहा चाँद कल शब बहुत उदास था चाँद सितारे थे तुम्हारी आगोश में राह तकता रहा चाँद -स्वाति सानी ‘रेशम’ کل … Continue reading चाँद का आइना

Chinese menu – Stir fried chicken with baby corn and mushrooms & Egg Fried Rice

It was getting late and I had not decided on the dinner menu, so I peeped in the fridge and realized I have stuff to dish out a quick stir fry and fried rice. So here they are -fast to make, good to eat recipes. Stir fried chicken with baby corn and mushrooms You will … Continue reading Chinese menu – Stir fried chicken with baby corn and mushrooms & Egg Fried Rice

Serengeti National Park, Tanzania

After the morning game drive at Manyara national park, we proceeded towards the Serengeti National park which is about 200 kms and 4 hours of drive through the beautiful Ngorongoro caldera rim.  Serengeti gets it’s name from the Masaii language word “seringitu” which means endless plains. The Serengeti plains are formed because of the volcanic … Continue reading Serengeti National Park, Tanzania

Lake Manyara National Park, Tanzania

Our plane was about to descend and I caught my breath as I saw a peak, completely covered with snow  rising above the clouds. It was Mount Kilimanjaro, the highest mountain in Africa. As we touched down and taxied we spotted a few Zebras grazing along the runway (we later learned it was a private … Continue reading Lake Manyara National Park, Tanzania

Kenya Airways – Harrowing experience

On 23rd May, 2010 I and Tarique were booked business class to fly from Nairobi to Mumbai. We took our boarding passes, and went to the lounge. The lounge itself was cramped and stuffy, but we endured. Around 4 PM we went out to check out the duty free shops and we heard boarding announcement … Continue reading Kenya Airways – Harrowing experience

16 years to that hot, sweaty, happy afternoon

Tere bin sanu sonya koi hor naiyo labhna jo deve ruh ko sukun chukke jo nakhra mera… It was 11.30 AM, we had finished signing that register, but it did not sink in till we sat together in the gypsy with my father-in-law and an aunt that we are now married. It had taken us … Continue reading 16 years to that hot, sweaty, happy afternoon