Right from childhood, I have been a connoisseur of cats – both the two legged and four legged variety. Forty years down the line including twenty years of marriage, my fascination still persists albeit only for the four legged variety.
We have one in the house – a spoilt tomcat whose only interest in life is sleeping, eating and chasing insects. And yes – he allows you to scratch his ears when he wants them scratched or when he feels you have been good enough to deserve the privilege.
Last night, we discovered that a rat has chosen our house as his abode. Obviously the rat found it to his liking since he was merrily prancing around. Spunky – our cat- sniffed the rat’s trail curiously, raised an eye st us reprimanding us for keeping a sloppy house and promptly went back to sleep. Obviously, chasing rats is not one of his passions in life. He is a cuddly furry cat who relishes his Whiskas and sleep.
And I love him insanely and unconditionally. He jumps on me when I am fast asleep, he breaks crystal, he spoils the leather sofa, he sits in front of the screen when i am typing the most important email – I don’t grudge him anything. He has my permission to do anything if it pleases him and makes him happy.
After his reprimand regarding the rat in my house, I started thinking as to why I love him so much. For all practical purposes, he serves no specific purpose in my life. I definitely don’t love my wife unconditionally or insanely, even the love for my kids is bound by certain expectation and desire for keeping my genes immortal. Honestly speaking, I am incapable of loving any human being unconditionally. But this brat cat can do whatever he wants and I will still love him. Why?
The surprising answer is that I have no expectation from my relationship with the cat. I love him for what he is and nothing more. There are no ego issues, no element of control involved in our relationship. His reprimanding eyes do not strike at the core of my existence nor does my shooing him away makes him feel unwanted. Do I do him a favour by feeding and sheltering him? I never think of it that way and in any case, he provides me immense joy by his very existence, by his being around me. It is not a dominate-subjugate relationship, its and independent, free and co existing relationship.
My lament is – why can’t I have a relationship like that with another human being?