Author: Swati Sani

Love and gravity

जाते जाते वो मुझे अच्छी निशानी दे गया
उम्र भर दोहराऊंगा एसी कहानी दे गया

We had announced our wedding and you being Tarique’s brother, wanted to meet me. So I met you at a Cafe near Churchgate station at 7 PM and the bond that formed that evening was strong. We did have our disagreements in the beginning. You were that kind of person – strong and pig-headed at times. But you always were my brother-in-law and a brother to me.

You told me in our first meeting that you are an incorrigible romantic, and in the end you even managed to romance death, so much that she took you away leaving us completely shaken. I have no idea how life would be without you. How will we all fill the void that you have left. Who will I discuss Urdu Shairi with and how will I cope up when to every sher I write, there isn’t a reply in the form of another equally good couplet.  What will I do now that I know you are not there at the other end of the phone. Tell me, is there some kind of  Whatsapp up there?  Tell me, Interstellar was right, that  love and gravity will always transcend time and space. Just send me a signal and I will know that you are there in another dimension.

Here’s  for you BIL. I am going to miss you terribly, Bhaijan, but I will not grieve your absence, your life deserves to be celebrated, not mourned.

 

आज़ादी

ये करीने से उगाए हुये फूल पत्ते
कतार में खड़े सलामी देते पेड़
और मेनिक्युअर्ड लॉन
मुझे कब भाये कि तुम समझ बैठे
कि तुम मुझे पसंद आओगे
बोलो तो?

मुझे तो जंगल पसंद हैं
आज़ाद और बेखौफ़
मुझे बर्फ से ढकी पहाडियाँ
रोमांचित करतीं है
वो समंदर जो कभी ज्वार तो कभी भाटा
क्या वो मुझे नही बुलाता?

मेरी फितरत तो रही है
नंगे पाँव दौड़ लगाने की
गाउन और हाई हील्स में
मैं क्या चल पाती
मुझे ऊचीं उड़ानें पसंद है
मुझे तुम्हरी कैद कब भाती?

–स्वाति

Photo credit: Stephen Brace / Foter / CC BY

Aazadi (आज़ादी) is a poem written by Swati Sani, the picture used is for representation purposes only.

Kitten Diaries Part 4 – Story in pictures

As they are growing, the kittens are giving me a lot of photo opportunities.  So I  decided to ditch the iphone camera and use my DSLR to click some pictures.

The kittens are a pleasure to be with, they are old enough to be on their own now, and perhaps will soon go away. And these photographs will be memories to treasure.

Mishti loves flowers
Mishti loves flowers
Kitten Diaries: Every piece of furniture is fun to play with.
Every piece of furniture is fun to play with.

Continue reading Kitten Diaries Part 4 – Story in pictures

Kitten Diaries Part -3 -The playful kittens

This kitten diaries update almost did not make it. For several days the kittens were not to be seen. Billu had kept them well hidden and did not even allow me near them. After about a week of no signs of kittens being around, we gave up and thought that they succumbed to nature’s ills. Then suddenly one day Billu led me to the outhouse again and there I met Mishti on the first day, Wookie on the second day and Missy on the third. Billu shows all signs of being a good cat mother, and I am so proud.
billu_with3ofthem

The kittens turned 7 week old last Saturday and they are all over the garden now, even when the temperatures rise to 47°C they find places to hide and stay cool. They have started drinking milk that I give Billu and they even eat her food. I give her an egg scrambled along with a bread or a left over roti, with a lot of ghee.
mishti_wookie
The kittens were away from me for long so they were obviously wary to begin Continue reading Kitten Diaries Part -3 -The playful kittens

21 years

11th May, 1994, it was a Wednesday. I woke up a little early that morning, got quickly dressed in a simple green coloured cotton saree that I  had purchased for the occasion, applied a light foundation and lipstick, slipped into my sandals and I was ready for the most important event of my life. It was my wedding day. I still have the clothes that we wore though there is no way I can fit myself into that blouse and Tarique in his size 38 shirt ever again.

10 AM. I was ready, the household wasn’t. 10.30 AM, I started pacing up and down, I can’t be late, surely not today. But that was not to be. For the appointed time of 11 AM. I reached the district court at 11.45 and guess who was there pacing up and down, somewhat anxious, somewhat angry, wondering how long to wait. He would have left for my place (to check if I was ok) had he not been with his father. “Have patience, such things take time” His father had told him.

Continue reading 21 years

Kitten Diaries Part -2 Mishti, Missy and Wookie

Kittens around the house keep you busy. The mother needs to be fed, the kittens need to be weighed and you just can’t keep yourself from clicking pictures. It was Day 4 and all the kittens wanted to do was sleep.

Kitten Diaries Day 4
Kitten Diaries Day 4. All they do is sleep.

The kittens sleep most of the time and are extremely dependent on their mother to protect, feed, clean and help them excrete waste. They do start being vocal though. The mother tries to keep their mews to a minimum so that they do not attract attention.

Continue reading Kitten Diaries Part -2 Mishti, Missy and Wookie

Kitten Diaries Part 1 – Billu and her mewlings

Bilaoo or Billu for short is my cat who turned one this April. She had adopted me as her human on a rainy evening in July 2014 and has been with me ever since.

billu_apr10IMG_4649
Billu the mother cat when she was a kitten (12 weeks old)

A few months back we noticed that she is pregnant. I was not sure if she would carry the pregnancy through as she herself was very young. But she did, and gave birth to three kittens on Saturday, 11th April at about 8.45 PM. It was a cool windy evening and she has been after me to follow her everywhere. She took me around the house and finally after an hour settled in front of my car in a cardboard box which was too small for her. I quickly arranged for a bigger cardboard box and lined it with some newspapers and some soft cloth.

She inspected the box and was in and out of it, certainly in pain and unable to sit at a place she was very restless. Her contractions which were an hour apart early evening, now became frequent and she would get very little rest between them.  She did not allow me to go out of her sight and I kept petting her and reassuring her.

Continue reading Kitten Diaries Part 1 – Billu and her mewlings

Aaj baazar mein pabajaula chalo – Faiz

Faiz Ahmad Faiz, Member of the Order of the British Empire, Nishan-e-Imtiaz, Lenin Peace Prize awardee, was an influential left-wing intellectual, revolutionary poet, and one of the most regarded poets of the Urdu language, being considered four times for the Nobel Prize in poetry. (Source : Wikipedia)

He wrote ‘Aaj baazar mein pa ba jaulan chalo’ in 1959 when he was imprisoned under Ayub Khan’s martial law. He was taken to the Lahore fort’s torture cell passing through the streets of Lahore in a horse driven cart with his fetters on. Here’s the complete Nazm along with meanings.

Aaj baazar mein paa-ba-jaulan chalo (paa-ba-jaulan – shackles on feet, like a prisoner)
Chashm-e-nam, jaan-e-shoreeda kaafi nahin (Chashm-e-nam-saltiness of tears, jaan-e-shoreeda – distressed soul )
Tohmat-e-ishq-e-posheeda baqi nahin (posheeda – hidden)
Aaj baazar mein paa-ba-jaulan chalo
Dast-e-afshaan chalo, mast-o-raqsaan chalo (dast-e-afshaan – swinging hans, mast-o-raqsaan – dancing in trance)
Khaak-bar-sar chalo, khoon-ba-damaan chalo (khaak bar sar – kicking the dust, khoon-ba-daman- blood on sleeves)
Raah takta hai sab shahr-e-janaan chalo (shahar-e-jaana – beloved city)
Aaj baazar mein paa-ba-jaulan chalo
Haakim-e-shahar bhi, majma-e-aam bhi
Teer-e-ilzaam bhi, sang-e-dushnaam bhi (sang-e-dushnam – the stones on road)
Subh-e-nashaad bhi, roz-e-nakaam bhi (roz-e-nakaam -unsucessful day)
Aaj baazar mein paa-ba-jaulan chalo
In ka damsaaz apne siwa kaun hai (damsaaz – friend)
Shahr-e-jaanan mein ab ba-safa kaun hai (ba-safa – sincere)
Dast-e-qaatil ke shaayan raha kaun hai (dast – hand, shaayan – extending)
Rakht-e-dil baandh lo, dil figaaro chalo (dil figara – broken hearted)
Phir hamin qatl ho aayen yaaro chalo.
Aaj baazar mein paa-ba-jaulan chalo

— Faiz Ahmed Faiz

Here’s a rough translation of the Nazm

Stride today in the bazaar despite shackled feet
Salty tears in eyes and a distressed soul is not enough
Accusations of a clandestine love are not enough
Stride today in the bazaar despite shackled feet
Swing your arms, Stride merrily, feet dancing
head and hair covered with dust, clothes stained with blood
Come, your beloved city is waiting for you
Stride today in the bazaar despite shackled feet
Rulers and common people (do if for the rulers and commoners of your beloved city)
(arrows of) slanders and (stones of) insult (so what if you get slanders and insult)
depressing mornings, unsuccessful day (do it despite depressing mornings and unproductive day)
Stride today in bazaar despite shackled feet
Who is there for them if not you?
who in your beloved city can still be trusted?
who is capable of murder?
stop the rhythm of the heart, walk broken hearted
let us be murdered (martyrs), come my friend,
Stride today in the bazaar despite shackled feet

There was a movie called “In Custody” based on a novel by Anita Desai which used Faiz’s ghazals and Nazms. Here’s a video from the movie.

Photo credit: jonycunha / Foter / CC BY-SA

#47 Tummy Fill

Ok, so I may have turned 47 today but I don’t feel it. So what’s new?

The day was a busy one. First Monday of  the month always is. Morning was made with this lovely cartoon sketched by Rohan Chakravarty titled “Tummy Fill” ( A take on Kill Bill, and Lucy Liu who Rohan thinks I resemble). This sketch was Tarique’s birthday gift to me. Swati’s Kitchen is my newest baby. It lists the recipes of food I cook and the site getting a good response.

The plans for this year are set. New things to do, and to boldly go to places where I did not venture earlier 😀 I will enfold them as and when I start working on things.

Airport


There was nothing to do, so she just sat and observed people and her imagination took off. The freedom she was experiencing to be herself despite being in a place full of people was liberating. There were no restrictions and no compulsions on her here, so her mind started racing.

She started reflecting on her past and remembered it was an evening like this, she was sitting at a small airport and out of the blue he appeared wearing a Red t-shirt and jeans. She gasped, despite the years the resemblance was uncanny. It can’t be him at this nondescript place she  thought to herself and averted her gaze but had to look up when he came close. It was him. They were more than friends long ago but then had drifted apart and though she did think of him occasionally she never thought she’d meet him in this lifetime. She felt a bit awkward as he approached her and made a direct eye contact.

Hey! He said. Long time!
Long time, indeed, she replied. How have you been?
So far so good, but now that i have seen you, seems like i am in for some good time, he quipped jovially.
Taken aback with this unexpected familiarity he spoke with, she could not say anything but realised that it’s time they heal the broken bonds and get past what had been.

Let’s grab a coffee, he said and took her arm. She flung her jacket on her shoulders and responded warmly to his invitation. He was a close friend of many years, after all. She could not be cold towards him for something that they both were equally responsible for.

She soon felt the bitterness of past dissolve like sugar in coffee, and the sweetness of an old comfortable relationship filled her. They talked like they always did, as if all these years of not being in touch were just few moments of being apart from each other. She soon felt the same attraction towards him growing in her and tried curb the feelings. He, realising something amiss asked her and she could not lie.

“I am drawn towards you like a moth to a flame” She said in her usual poetic style.

Don’t bother to stop yourself from what you are feeling, darling. He said. We have come a long way and after all these years, perhaps grown wiser than what we were. So they both let go and talked passionately about things that were left unsaid for the longest time. Both of them felt the warmth engulfing them all over again.  The bond once broken strengthened and they departed for their destinations promising to stay in touch for the rest of their lives.

They kept their promise and met often. Spending nights together, stealing moments out of their busy schedule sometimes in his city, sometime at hers and at times they could even spend their holidays together. Neither spoke of moving in together, but their relationship was special and they cherished and preserved it. Till one such time that he did not turn up at the appointed place a couple of years back. She inquired, and rushed to his bedside.

She went back home after he recovered , and they continued meeting each other through out their lives At least whatever of it had remained.

Today she was leaving for a hospice facility. He had departed a year back.

“It’s my turn now” she thought just as the flight was announced. Someone pushed her wheelchair towards the boarding gate.

Photo by kevin dooley