The cook sent a message that she wants to quit – after remaining absent without any notice for four days -at a time when i was supposed to have guests at home.
Her reason: she feels guilty of not being able to work properly when I am so “nice” -bah so I am nice and I suffer… … some reasoning.
She was supposed to come today because she changed her mind and wanted to work again, but did not turn up -what am I supposed to do? Plead with her?
She was a good worker, a student of 12th Std and I was helping her out in her studies as much as I could monetarily as well as in her English lessons. The only thing I expected from her was to let me know that she wanted leave – at least a phone call….
I am at a loss…. is it good for oneself to be good to others?
Best of luck Tarique, till you get the next cook. 🙂 . g,d & r.
Goodness?
An opinion I heard recently from someone I thought I knew pretty well — “Its good to be selfish. Period. Nothing else matters.”
Re: Goodness?
There is something called as equal transactions. Being selfish is good, having unequal transactions (not giving what you need to in return of what you get) is not about being selfish but about being dishonest.
Selfishness simply is saying if I have given something I have right to expect something back in return.
Don’t confuse between honesty and selfishness
Re: Goodness?
And if you dont mind, your opinion on selfishness….
Re: Goodness?
Like I said selfishness is good. You cannot really love anyone unless you love yourself (note here the difference between love, admiration and aspiration)
You cannot really love yourself unless you know what you like in yourself – what you like in yourself is governed by your sense of Right and Wrong IOW – your ethics.
So to continue with the above if you like yourself for wrong reasons, you cheat yourself, later you end up being a dishonest cheat to others.
Hope this is enough – anything more will require many more words and time 🙂
Re: Goodness?
So, in other words, to expect is good?
Re: Goodness?
Yes! To expect is not only natural but good, the dilemma comes with the level/amount of returns expected for the efforts
Re: Goodness?
My thoughts too…. I guess the only thing I’d have to add is that my expectations are limited to an extremely close circle. I do get hurt when somebody I know should have helped me bt doesnt, but that disappears in no time. The rules, however for this close circle are very different.
Re: Goodness?
My opinions – Expectation is good. But then, I can only expect from someone, what I myself can give. For e.g. If I want to do things on my own, I expect others also do things on their own. If I expect others to let me do what I want, I should allow others to do what they want.
I think, if I am selfish, I expect others also to think for themselves or rather be selfish. Also by being selfish, I am taking responsibility for my actions and subsequent results or consequences. Correct me, if you think I am wrong.
Re: Goodness?
Goodness does not necessarily mean sacrificing yourself for everything else. There is always supposed to be equal give and take. There are no exceptions to this – not once, not any time.
But the hypocrisy of the people is – “Can’t you just be uncomfortable once, so that you can please him or so many people” – Let him be happy and you be unhappy ? And then those people resort to emotional blackmail and even threatening, since they can’t seem to do it logically or reasonably.