The Fauji Patient

The military ingests perfectly normal, fairly intelligent human beings and converts them jnto soldiers. The hard nuts refuse to get digested and are excreted out intact while the pliable ones are metabolized and assimilated into the system.

To be candid, the general populace does carry the impression that defence personnel are a tad dense in their upper floor – a notion which is difficult to dispel. Unfortunately there exists a host of factual and fictional anecdotes which augment the belief. I have one such anecdote to narrate.

Capt RK is a retired army officer serving with us – a smart energetic person. Now, we all know that the city of Mumbai plays host to a variety of viruses – some known, other mutants. RK happened to get afflicted with the mutant variety. Initially, like a true fauji, he refused to accept the fact that he was ill. When the fever persisted and we insisted, he reluctantly took sick leave. The local doctors could not get a handle on the mutated virus. He finally went to a swank clinic where all those pedigreed foreign returned doctors practice. The good old days of General Practitioner who examined the patient, drew on his experience and diagnosed are long gone. Today it’s science and gadgets. So poor RK was subjected to a battery of tests, diagnosed as having some unpronounceable disease and was prescribed a 3 day course of different medicines. These medicines came packaged in a single strip with day 1, 2 and 3 marked in column. The patient was required to take the daily set of red, blue and white pill placed column wise every day.

RK started the medicinal course convinced it will cure him of every ill. However at the end of third day, he felt worse and had blood in his sputum. He went back to the flabbergasted doctors complaining of worsening condition.

The flummoxed doctors ran another battery of tests which yielded the same earlier unpronounceable result. Now those fancy foreign returned doctors just couldn’t fathom what was wrong – the diagnosis was positive, the prescribed medicine appropriate but the end result opposite and inappropriate. For once, the super gadgets seemed to let them down.

The clinic had an ex fauji as the Administrator. He overheard the case discussions in the executive lunch room and looked up the medicine strip. He went to RK and asked “Did you eat the medicines regularly?” RK nodded his head in affirmative. “So you ate the red, blue and white coloured tablets each day?” the ex fauji asked indicating the set of medicine meant for Day 1, 2 and 3. “No sir” came the classic reply from RK, ” I ate the red coloured ones on the first day, blue coloured ones the second day and white ones on the last”

Lovers

All night the moon made love to her soft petals and as the dawn broke, she opened herself and turned towards the radiant Sun. The Sun, he ignored the ardent adoring gaze of Sunflower and completely consumed the Dew in his warm embrace.   Photo by Andreas on Unsplash

The 25th Courtship!

In the good old days, the art of wooing was simple and straightforward. The man bonked the woman over the head and dragged her over to his cave to fornicate happily ever after. No running circles around the bush to get what he wanted….. Obviously the success rate was directly dependent on the size of … Continue reading The 25th Courtship!

Reminiscences

My cheeks caressed by a winter filtered sunbeam, Half asleep, of her I always have a pleasant dream. About her presence, her smell and a splendid time, Eating pani puri flavoured with tamarind and lime. Sparkling eyes, clear complexion, throaty laughter, And thick black tousled  hair in the morning after. O Time! Take us back to those happy, carefree days, For … Continue reading Reminiscences

My Cat

Right from childhood, I have been a connoisseur of cats – both the two legged and four legged variety. Forty years down the line including twenty years of marriage, my fascination still persists albeit only for the four legged variety. We have one in the house – a spoilt tomcat whose only interest in life … Continue reading My Cat

दूजी पाती

December 1990. During the ISABS workshop on the first day,  participants were asked to introduce themselves. This was my introduction. It still is. पंथी एकाकी जीवन की मैं यूँ पथ पर चलते चलते ढूडूँ खुद को हर ओर छोर हर नहर ड़गर आँगन अंबर पतझड के एक झंकोरे से पाती हूँ मैं, उड़ उड़ जाती … Continue reading दूजी पाती

अक्सर

From the diary of 1986 सर्दियों के घने कुहाँसे में अक्सर धुंदला सा एक चेहरा उभरता है उस चेहरे को एक बार फिर करीब से देखने को जी करता है और इसी कोशिश में अक्सर खिड़कियों के काँच जख्म दे जातें हैं रूह सहम सी जाती है और वह धुंदलाता चेहरा परछाईं बन अंधकार में … Continue reading अक्सर

साये

From the pages of my very old diary. I wrote this one 23 years back, in 1988. उजड़े मकानों के साये में, उसी राह के मोड़ पर वह अचानक टकराना नज़रें मिलाना परिचय की कौंध का पल को उभरना और लुप्त हो जाना अनपहचाने चेहरों  का लिबास ओढ़े आहिस्ता से गुज़र जाना फिर किसी विध्वंसक … Continue reading साये

चाँद का आइना

कल शब बड़ी देर तक निकला रहा चाँद चाँदनी गिरती ओस को पिरोती रही रात घिरती रही कल शब तुम्हारी अलसाई बाहों में आने को मचलता रहा चाँद बेदम ठंड़ी साँसो को गर्म करता रहा चाँद कल शब बहुत उदास था चाँद सितारे थे तुम्हारी आगोश में राह तकता रहा चाँद -स्वाति सानी ‘रेशम’ کل … Continue reading चाँद का आइना