Category: Nadeem Sani

Stories, articles and poetry written by my late brother-in-law, Nadeem Sani

CHAPTER II – REQUIEM

Eternity is a long long time. And I could feel my temporal resolve weakening as I waited for her response on the Facebook.

It is surprising how life can obsessively revolve around waiting for a single response on the Facebook. My Blackberry had the account, the office computer had the site opened and minimized as also the PC at home. Every moment spent in waiting. Hope and anticipation waxing and waning everyday! Bouts of intense despair where the air seemed poisonously heavy and the lungs incapable of drawing it in. Disinterested and divorced from the mundane happenings of everyday life. Hope is all I lived with, hope which was increasingly giving way to dark, dull despondency.

The temporal self is weak; Eternity a vast chasm for the temporal to bridge. To wait for Eternity, I needed to divorce the temporal and take an ethereal avatar. Maybe time as we know ceases to exist on the ethereal plane. Maybe, the astral self could cross the oceans and watch her sojourn in the temporal till it was over and we were united. The idea slowly began to take root.

I had always been a sybarite – loved the good things of earthly life. But those were means to an end and without her presence in my life, meaningless. I followed elaborate rites for my passage from the temporal to the ethereal. No loose ends to be left behind, no other attachments except for my singular goal – Her.

I sit in the bathtub – soaking luxuriously in warm water with a bottle of Elizabeth Arden’s Mediterranean poured into it. I sit surrounded and immersed in her smell as I remember her. A mellifluous voice renders a popular composition of Ghalib, romantic nuances float in the background. The crystal glass on edge of the tub is filled with my favourite single malt on the rocks – the temporal savouring the last pleasures of the physical world. My laptop runs a slide show of all the images I have stored of her and my brain makes those nostalgic moments come alive. And I watch the white foamy perfumed water change colour – from innocent virgin white to a promising irrevocable red. My sights are dimming as I concentrate on the slide show – locking the last vestiges of her physical image, imprinting them on my soul. I have started feeling cozy and lightheaded when there is a tong from the laptop.

I peer through the gathering haze into my laptop to read my last message.  It’s from her and reads ‘ Hi Nadeem, Howz life treating you?’

CHAPTER I – Till Eternity Do Us Part

The Facebook account had been freshly made and a smiling face overshadowed the iconic architecture in the background. My long wait of 31536000 seconds had been finally rewarded. Obviously, she was alive and well and once again had access to the internet. ‘ Howz life treating you?’ I quickly typed a message to commence the  second phase of my agonizing wait.

She was an ex army officer from the northern part of the country – rustic but with a tremendous zest for life. Five years in the army had not separated her from her penchant for loud lipstick, garish colour combinations of synthetic clothes, loud make up and the hard twang of rural accented English. But she had guts and an attitude which showed promising potential.

I was the sophisticate by Indian standards who could differentiate between Chenin Blanc and Shiraz, Gucci and Armani, between Poison and Opium. I loved my Mozart and Bach while she liked hindi pop, I read Orhan Pamuk while she enjoyed Chetan Bhagat, I played golf while she jogged to keep herself fit. We were as different as cheese to chalk; add an age difference and you have a well nigh impossible situation. But the opposites sought each other desperately. I taught her to be a sophisticate while she taught me how to be alive. I explained etiquettes and learnt the joys of breaking rules from her. We were soulmates – she and I.

Love sneaks in your life only once. That is the time when each joyful pore of your body feels alive, each breath intoxicating. It is a phase when societal laws, familial ties and peer pressure cease to have a meaning. Each moment is exhilarating, pleasurable and filled with immense happiness. And when you make love, stars twinkle, bells jingle, lights explode, there’s the crescendo of Bach in the background. You loose your identity, your souls merge, each day is better than the previous day. You live just to be with her, to see her, to smell her, to allow her to fill up your senses. Obviously, such happiness and love is not meant to last. Human beings in such love would be liberated from the bonds of hate, social norms, religion – disrupting the harsh real world we know.

She went off to distant lands to join her husband exactly a year ago and we lost contact. The intervening year was spent in pining for her, in hoping she was happy, in agonizing over a thousand what-if scenarios, in being caged in the rationality of worldly rules. One year of non-existence until she popped up again on the Facebook.

It has been two months since I have sent the Facebook message to her. She has not replied. I wait patiently. After all, eternity is a long long time……

The Zeroth Law of Robotics!

I am mortally scared of delusional intellects who root for the good of mankind! The pages of history are soaked with the blood of people who have been slaughtered, maimed and tortured at the altar of the super ego of great people who claimed to be working for the larger interest of mankind. The world today is comparatively civilised place; which is to say that we don’t burn our heretics piecemeal but butcher them en masse using modern technology. Unfortunately, while physical violence still manages to grab international attention, the financial and societal persecution of people in the interest of greater good continues unabated and does not draw much attention. Intellectuals pass off such persecution in the guise of various esoteric ‘isms’ which pervade the globe today. Communism is the first such philosophy which comes to my mind. Let us not overlook the harsh fact that in most instances, pursuit of larger good has made the pursuer rich and powerful while doing precious little for the mankind in the long run.

Such examples are abundant in our daily life also. For example, the teacher who lowers the standard of question paper for the lowest rung of student to pass is guilty of this act too!  Recently, I came across an interesting explanation of working for the interest of larger group. The proponent quoted Asimov’s Zeroth Law of Robotics.  Now there was a phase in my life when the world was divided in two distinct halves – people who read Asimov and people who did not! People who read Asimov had the capacity for creative and lateral thinking whereas people who did not were plain wimps. For the uninitiated     (and I no longer consider non Asimov readers to be wimps) the Zeroth Law was laid down after a particular robot faces the million dollar dilemma – whether to obey the extant law and prevent harm to an individual or to use his positronic brains innovatively and prevent harm to humanity by sacrificing the individual. The Zeroth Law empowers the robot to act for the greater good of humanity. So, the proponent said, if Asimov could propagate the Zeroth law, there obviously is nothing wrong in acting for the greater good of humanity at the expense of a few individuals. I have only one observation – the last time an individual seriously sacrificed himself at the altar of greater good, it was 2010 years ago. And frankly speaking it wasn’t a bad deal – a few days of torture and crucification in exchange for immortality!

Me – I believe in good old fashioned capitalist value sans hypocrisy and the need to hide behind wimpy excuses. If we all work for our individual good, we – by and large- work for collective good also. And I am not eager to donate my hard work and intelligence for the sake of the undeserving indolent.

Occident and Orient

 Thanks to globalization, the Indian lifestyle has become a curious blend of the occident and the orient. And one frequently encounters situations of mirth and merriment arising out of this curious mix. I came across one such incident today.

 I had gone to the local D Mart with my wife to shop for the monthly groceries.  Inside the hypermarket, I was allotted the important task of pushing or pulling the shopping trolley so as to maintain within 5 metres of my wife.  It’s an amazing experience to witness the multitude of variables which a housewife examines before deciding on a particular product or a brand. Since I boast of being happily married for 20 years, I have, naturally, developed the wisdom to keep my mouth shut during my wife’s shopping forays. My participation is limited to answering questions like “ Is 660 gms of X detergent at Rs 75 a better bargain than 800 gms of Y detergent at Rs 80 ?”…….

So, in the true spirit of a happily married couple, we loaded our trolley to the brim with the goodies my wife wanted and proceeded to one of the numerous cash counters. The counter was manned by a Cashier girl and her Assistant. The Cashier had a barcode reader connected to a computer which scanned the price and did all the calculations – a typical Point of Sale operation prevalent worldwide. So Ms Cashier scanned and Ms Assistant packed the grocery in bags. The billing complete, I produced my card and signed the credit chit. Transaction completed! At this point, we could see a hectic and tensed whispering session between the Cashier and her Assistant. The Assistant excused herself and went away.

Ms Cashier gave us a charming smile and requested us to wait since her Assitant had gone to meet the Supervisor about our gift items. In recession,  grocery freebies are always welcome. But curiosity got the better of me and I inquired ‘ Gift with which item?” Ms Cashier politely handed over one of the ten JAMZ biscuits packets my wife had purchased. As I tried reading about the gift offer, Ms Assistant came back breathless and apologized that the free gift with the biscuit packet was unfortunately not in stock. Ms Cashier wanted to know if we still desired to buy the biscuits since the “free gift” was not available. Meanwhile, I could not find any mention of any gift offer or scheme on the biscuit pack. Finally I asked Ms Cashier as to what free gift was she talking about! She smiled and rather importantly pointed to a blue text box on the biscuit pack which read “ TRANS FAT FREE”.

The positives of TV Reality shows

Much has been written and debated about the current crop of Indian TV Reality shows. The general opinion seems to be on the negative side. I daresay that those of us who do take vicarious, voyeuristic pleasures watching such shows are disinclined to come out in the open and support it. The multifarious arguments against the shows include stuff like they are rigged, they are against Indian ethos, the producers discover new abyss to increase TRPs – all valid if somewhat emotional argument. My retort is simple – there is a wonderful gadget which comes along with every TV called the Remote. If you find a show or a newscast offensive, change channels. Isn’t it hypocritical that the shows with the most vociferous opposition seem to garner the highest TRPs?

 Like any 46 year old father, I used to frown upon my teenage brats watching MTV Roadies. This was until the jungle bug hit me – yes, I am referring to the latest show on Sony – Is Jungle Se Mujhe Bachao. I was aware of the fact that it’s a straight lift off from a Star TV English show. But I tune in regularly at 10 PM since I am partial to Fiza, one of the contestants. At 46, wives develope a passive acceptance for their husbands’ proclivity to ogle, so she also joins in and it became a sort of family watching time.

 Having made my confession, I would like to comment on the positives of the show and these are probably valid for other reality shows as well. The plus point of the show is that it telecasts all the manipulations, alliance forming, backstabbing and bitching amongst the participants in its naked glory. And the harsh fact is that these manipulations for advantage and power are a part of everyone’s real life. By exposing my brats to the same in reel life where one can watch the cause – effect relationship in the relative comfort of the drawing room, I am confident that I am accelerating their growth in life. Understanding the ways of their world will help them succeed in their adult life. I am not debating on morality here. The bitter fact is that the Machiavellian machinations do exist in real life and if the child gets vicarious lessons about it, it’s beneficial for him/her. I did not make the world or the society we live in neither do I have any control over its unwritten rules. And if a Reality show helps my children learn these rules earlier on and in comparative safety of the drawing room, I guess it’s welcome.

Nuclear Warfare Terminology

Defense has recently been in news for various reasons. And we have experts on TV spewing out a host of esoteric jargons at the unarmed and defenseless viewers! After being interrupted for the umpteenth time by my daughter asking me about a term being used on the TV, I decided that I must make a humble effort to defuse the confusion and ‘de jargonise’ some of these terms on my blog. Since the first indigenously built nuclear submarine INS Arihant was launched recently, I will start off with nuclear terms.

Land Based Systems. The land based missiles come in two essential flavours – cruise and ballistic. Cruise missiles have a shorter range (< 500 kms), are propelled by air breathing jet engines and are generally low flying (<100m). The guidance system can range from the  rudimentary gyro  to more advanced ones. The launch platforms are fairly mobile and these missiles can carry both nuclear and conventional warheads. Ballistic missiles have longer range, leave the earth’s atmosphere during the 1st phase of their trajectory and re enter during their terminal phase. This flight pattern and range brings in the added complication of having a heat shield on the warhead to prevents its burning off during the re entry phase. Since the missile leaves the atmosphere, the rotation of earth during this time needs to be taken into account for its guidance. Obviously, these are more complex and expensive and hence are only used for delivery of nuclear weapons. The ranges vary from 1000 km to 10,000 km plus. Depending upon the range, they are classified as SRBM (Short Range Ballistic Missile), IRBM (Intermediate Range BM) and ICBM (Inter Continental BM). Our Agni missiles are IRBMs. These missiles are concealed underground in well protected locations called missile silos.

Air Based System. The air delivery of nuclear weapons essentially consists of two type – the old fashioned air dropped bomb (Like Hiroshima and Nagasaki) or launching a cruise missile from the bomber.

Sea Based Systems. Ships can carry nuclear armed cruise missiles. The advantage of a ship based missile is that unlike the aircraft which needs a runway to take off or land based missiles which need silos; the ship is a mobile platform which can move a 1000 km every day. Hence it is more difficult to locate and destroy. But the most respected and feared nuclear delivery system is the SLBM (Submarine Launched Ballistic Missile). The nuclear submarine can stay underwater for months, move at high speeds and is virtually undetectable. The development of SLBM requires the highest degree of technology since the missile is launched from underwater, comes to the sea surface, fires its rockets and travels towards its target. INS Arihant and proposed Sagarika missile comes under this category.

Nuclear Triad. The land, air and sea based capability described above constitutes the nuclear triad.

Strategic Deterrent. The ability of a nation to retaliate with equal intensity if attacked by its adversary. Sort of – you shoot me, I shoot you, both of us die so let’s not shoot each other. This deterrence will only work if both the nations are convinced that the other can retaliate with equal intensity. This supposedly equal capability to annihilate each other or inflict unacceptable damage keeps the balance of power and prevents nations from annihilating other nations!

Second Strike Capability. The land based missile silos are static. So are the runways from where an airborne nuclear attack can be launched. Since all nations spy actively on their adversaries, they are aware of the locations of silos and airfields. Under such circumstance, a nation could be tempted to a first nuclear strike in the belief that its strike can wipe out the adversary’s capability to retaliate. Second Strike capability is the ability of a nation to absorb the punishment from the first strike of its adversary and still be able to retaliate and inflict unacceptable damage on the adversary. A nuclear submarine is a key component here since it cannot be destroyed by the enemy during the first strike thereby giving the nation a credible second strike capability.

SSN and SSBM. SSN (Sub Surface, Nuclear) refers to a nuclear powered submarine specifically designed to hunt and kill enemy SSBMs. SSNs do not carry ballistic missiles. SSBM (Sub Surface, Ballistic Missile) are comparatively bigger submarines which are nuclear powered and designed to launch Ballistic Missiles.

Nuclear Triad. This pertains to the nuclear weapon delivery system explained above. It consists of the land based missiles, aircrafts and SSBMs.

The media is getting more defense savvy and obtrusive. I have attempted to demystify some of the oft used jargons in connection to nuclear warfare. Perhaps the next round of report/debate by Arnab Goswami will provide me with a fresh trigger to demystify more military jargon and theories.

Celebrating the launch of INS Arihant

As explained in my earlier blog post, the launch of INS Arihant completes the much needed third leg of our nuclear triad. The indigenous nuke has taken 25 years to build and is expected to be operational by 2011. The indigenous 7500km range SLBM is expected to be ready at around the same time. (Incidentally, the more discerning TV audience may have noticed that the computer simulation of the submarine shown on national TV exhibited a submarine stationed in Bay of Bengal firing a missile in the direction of Beijing.)

There was a huge article in TOI wondering why India is ‘tom-tomming’ the launch of a nuclear submarine which will become fully operational only by 2011. My retort is – why not? As an Indian, I am justifiably proud of my country developing and mastering a sophisticated technology available with a select few nations. Secondly, International relations are a bit peculiar. The fact that India had been building a nuclear submarine was known to most nations years before the formal launch of INS Arihant. With the launch, the calculation matrix of our potential adversaries has got a trifle more complicated. India has indicated that the submarine will be operational by 2011. But, if circumstances demand, can India do it earlier? How does an adversary counter the deployment of India’s nuclear submarine? Perhaps 2011 is too optimistic and the sub may not be operational by then. However, can a potential adversary take a chance? Thirdly, naval ships and submarines have traditionally showcased the might and technological advances of a nation. India’s global standing has increased dramatically with the launch of INS Arihant. Lastly, apart from the launch of indigenous submarine, the leasing of Russian Akula II nuclear submarine is also proceeding at a fairly rapid pace.

In short, India has arrived or on the verge of arriving as a major global power and tom tomming is definitely called for! Critics may point out to the skeletons tumbling out of defense closet – wrong acquisitions, human rights violations, charges of corruption etc. These are by no means condonable. But these critics could do well by studying the history of US military to understand the fact that on a broader canvas, a military power gradually fumbles its way to the position of global eminence. No military can learn all its lessons overnight – and we have every reason to be proud of our military achievements.

Media – the Saviour!

I have stopped watching the entertainment channels on the TV. The news channel provides all the ingredients of a blockbuster – violence, corruption, scandal and sex. The only difference is that, unlike the Hindi films, in real life there seems to an absence of that idealistic hero who sets everything right by the end of the movie.

Today’s newscast was especially depressing. A sting operation on the junior telecom minister which confirmed what the whole of India already knows – that corruption exists in high places. Then we had Buta Singh’s son caught in a bribery case.  Another sting operation at Sourav’s – a restaurant owned by Sourav Ganguly where bargirls were caught on camera, dancing to entice customers. And finally, we had Imraan Hashmi of serial kissing fame going public with a fact which again is well known – muslims are discouraged from owning a house in most societies.

(The rest of this article is lost – was originally hosted at http://nadeemsani.net/2009/07/31/the-fourth-estate/

Oxymoron and Moron

There are two primary stereotypes of armed forces officers created by Bollywood in the minds of the general populace. The first is that of the dashing hero who dances and sings in the Regimental Mess, gets the heroine, goes and lays down his life fighting the enemy leaving a grieving but proud widow behind. The second stereotype is that of an idiosyncratic retired officer who smokes a pipe, uses ‘Bloody Hell’ a trillion times and disciplines everyone around him to the merriment of the viewers. By creating these quintessentially extreme stereotypes, there is no room left in people’s mind for the real life flesh and blood officers who have taken an early retirement.

Personally, I find the larger than life Bollywood stereotype image extremely detrimental when dealing with the corporate HR interviewer. The general perception is that defence services officers are all spit and polish, magnificently endowed with brawn and deficient in brains. So when it comes to the extremely complex corporate world, HR concludes that we won’t be able to cope up and will end up antagonizing everyone by our idiosyncracies.

The truth is that an armed force officer is fairly intelligent and rational. By virtue of facing diverse and difficult situations, he is flexible and adaptable with an ability to innovate to achieve the desired goal. As the saying goes, we are trained for all situations ranging from the ballroom to the battlefront. And if I were to quote my more brash colleagues, from the bedroom to boardroom! After all, how many corporate CVs can boast of the capabilities and expertise to handle diverse tasks ranging from taking the lady of visiting foreign dignitary sari shopping, providing succour to populace during calamities, planning operations with umpteen variables and staring down enemy guns? All this and more, in extreme operating environment, 24X7!

“But Commander, you don’t have the corporate experience or domain knowledge” is an oft heard refrain. As a mid to senior level professional, I feel that “capability” rather than ‘domain knowledge’ is more important. But then, I have decided to quit the services and seek a career in the civvy street, so I need to play by the new rules.

However, I must confess that the new rules are not easy to play by. Self praise is frowned upon in the Services and I still blush when I have to assure the HR recruiter that I am good. HR folks don’t make it easy either. I recall an interview wherein I was trying to draw the analogy between HR as practiced in the Services and HR as advocated by Gary Dessler, author of the book on HRM followed worldwide. After listening to 10 minutes of my earnest explanation, the interviewer stopped me and queried “Who is Gary Dessler?”! Neither is it easy to dispel the mistaken notion that all faujis are dimwits. During the initial phase of my most recent interview I told the interviewer” I want to assure you that an intelligent naval officer is not an oxymoron”. The svelte lady flashed a brilliant smile, nodded understandingly and asked “ Oxy what?”. I had no choice but to reply “Moron!”, realising fully well that I couldn’t possibly crack this interview!.

Meanwhile, my search for a job continues…..

Who killed Prof Sabherwal?- Nadeem Sani

As a human being, I hold multiple identities simultaneously. I am a retired naval officer, an out-of-work executive, a henpecked husband, and a doting father. I am from X course of NDA, Y Squadron and belong to Nagpur etc. I can think of numerous affiliations to derive my specific identity BUT all my roles and identities are subservient to a core, basic, irrefutable one – I am an INDIAN – foremost and always. And it pains me to see fellow countrymen squabble over and parade their narrower identities for personal or political interests.

Prof Sabherwal was murdered on Sep 06 in the city of Ujjain. The country was shocked into witnessing the sordid crime live on their TV sets home. After a lot of hue and cry, the assailants were arrested and charged with murder. Today, they walk free after the Nagpur High Court acquitted them for want of proper evidence and poor case preparation by the prosecution.

As an Indian and a rational human being, killing is an anathema to me. The killing of a professor over narrow political causes is thus an even more distasteful, dastardly, and blasphemous act. On a national TV debate regarding the issue, we had a strident defender of the accused stating that the Professor was not killed but died of natural causes, spewing venom and espousing her parochial view of politics. Despite the prophecy of kalyug , I still regard teaching as a noble profession and a Guru as a demigod. The fact that this defender of the killers was a woman Professor shows the abysmal state of our quest for narrow personal and political gains. And we have the Chief Minister of the state where this heinous crime was committed lauding the release of the accused in media!

The Professor’s case for some reason has not sparked the furor and debate akin to say, Jessica Lal. Neither has the media taken up the case with the same fervor. Is it because espousing this cause will not increase the TRP anymore? Perhaps the Jessica Lal case was about the privileged vs the non-privileged whereas this case is against the workers of the ruling party in the state! Are we to assume that the “Indian- ness” of the people of the state is subservient to their narrow political views?

Whatever may be the case, it seems that no one killed Prof Sabherwal after all. Or is it that each one of us is guilty of his murder by accepting a system that condones it?

(Written by Nadeem Sani)