Author: Swati Sani

Occident and Orient

 Thanks to globalization, the Indian lifestyle has become a curious blend of the occident and the orient. And one frequently encounters situations of mirth and merriment arising out of this curious mix. I came across one such incident today.

 I had gone to the local D Mart with my wife to shop for the monthly groceries.  Inside the hypermarket, I was allotted the important task of pushing or pulling the shopping trolley so as to maintain within 5 metres of my wife.  It’s an amazing experience to witness the multitude of variables which a housewife examines before deciding on a particular product or a brand. Since I boast of being happily married for 20 years, I have, naturally, developed the wisdom to keep my mouth shut during my wife’s shopping forays. My participation is limited to answering questions like “ Is 660 gms of X detergent at Rs 75 a better bargain than 800 gms of Y detergent at Rs 80 ?”…….

So, in the true spirit of a happily married couple, we loaded our trolley to the brim with the goodies my wife wanted and proceeded to one of the numerous cash counters. The counter was manned by a Cashier girl and her Assistant. The Cashier had a barcode reader connected to a computer which scanned the price and did all the calculations – a typical Point of Sale operation prevalent worldwide. So Ms Cashier scanned and Ms Assistant packed the grocery in bags. The billing complete, I produced my card and signed the credit chit. Transaction completed! At this point, we could see a hectic and tensed whispering session between the Cashier and her Assistant. The Assistant excused herself and went away.

Ms Cashier gave us a charming smile and requested us to wait since her Assitant had gone to meet the Supervisor about our gift items. In recession,  grocery freebies are always welcome. But curiosity got the better of me and I inquired ‘ Gift with which item?” Ms Cashier politely handed over one of the ten JAMZ biscuits packets my wife had purchased. As I tried reading about the gift offer, Ms Assistant came back breathless and apologized that the free gift with the biscuit packet was unfortunately not in stock. Ms Cashier wanted to know if we still desired to buy the biscuits since the “free gift” was not available. Meanwhile, I could not find any mention of any gift offer or scheme on the biscuit pack. Finally I asked Ms Cashier as to what free gift was she talking about! She smiled and rather importantly pointed to a blue text box on the biscuit pack which read “ TRANS FAT FREE”.

The positives of TV Reality shows

Much has been written and debated about the current crop of Indian TV Reality shows. The general opinion seems to be on the negative side. I daresay that those of us who do take vicarious, voyeuristic pleasures watching such shows are disinclined to come out in the open and support it. The multifarious arguments against the shows include stuff like they are rigged, they are against Indian ethos, the producers discover new abyss to increase TRPs – all valid if somewhat emotional argument. My retort is simple – there is a wonderful gadget which comes along with every TV called the Remote. If you find a show or a newscast offensive, change channels. Isn’t it hypocritical that the shows with the most vociferous opposition seem to garner the highest TRPs?

 Like any 46 year old father, I used to frown upon my teenage brats watching MTV Roadies. This was until the jungle bug hit me – yes, I am referring to the latest show on Sony – Is Jungle Se Mujhe Bachao. I was aware of the fact that it’s a straight lift off from a Star TV English show. But I tune in regularly at 10 PM since I am partial to Fiza, one of the contestants. At 46, wives develope a passive acceptance for their husbands’ proclivity to ogle, so she also joins in and it became a sort of family watching time.

 Having made my confession, I would like to comment on the positives of the show and these are probably valid for other reality shows as well. The plus point of the show is that it telecasts all the manipulations, alliance forming, backstabbing and bitching amongst the participants in its naked glory. And the harsh fact is that these manipulations for advantage and power are a part of everyone’s real life. By exposing my brats to the same in reel life where one can watch the cause – effect relationship in the relative comfort of the drawing room, I am confident that I am accelerating their growth in life. Understanding the ways of their world will help them succeed in their adult life. I am not debating on morality here. The bitter fact is that the Machiavellian machinations do exist in real life and if the child gets vicarious lessons about it, it’s beneficial for him/her. I did not make the world or the society we live in neither do I have any control over its unwritten rules. And if a Reality show helps my children learn these rules earlier on and in comparative safety of the drawing room, I guess it’s welcome.

Nuclear Warfare Terminology

Defense has recently been in news for various reasons. And we have experts on TV spewing out a host of esoteric jargons at the unarmed and defenseless viewers! After being interrupted for the umpteenth time by my daughter asking me about a term being used on the TV, I decided that I must make a humble effort to defuse the confusion and ‘de jargonise’ some of these terms on my blog. Since the first indigenously built nuclear submarine INS Arihant was launched recently, I will start off with nuclear terms.

Land Based Systems. The land based missiles come in two essential flavours – cruise and ballistic. Cruise missiles have a shorter range (< 500 kms), are propelled by air breathing jet engines and are generally low flying (<100m). The guidance system can range from the  rudimentary gyro  to more advanced ones. The launch platforms are fairly mobile and these missiles can carry both nuclear and conventional warheads. Ballistic missiles have longer range, leave the earth’s atmosphere during the 1st phase of their trajectory and re enter during their terminal phase. This flight pattern and range brings in the added complication of having a heat shield on the warhead to prevents its burning off during the re entry phase. Since the missile leaves the atmosphere, the rotation of earth during this time needs to be taken into account for its guidance. Obviously, these are more complex and expensive and hence are only used for delivery of nuclear weapons. The ranges vary from 1000 km to 10,000 km plus. Depending upon the range, they are classified as SRBM (Short Range Ballistic Missile), IRBM (Intermediate Range BM) and ICBM (Inter Continental BM). Our Agni missiles are IRBMs. These missiles are concealed underground in well protected locations called missile silos.

Air Based System. The air delivery of nuclear weapons essentially consists of two type – the old fashioned air dropped bomb (Like Hiroshima and Nagasaki) or launching a cruise missile from the bomber.

Sea Based Systems. Ships can carry nuclear armed cruise missiles. The advantage of a ship based missile is that unlike the aircraft which needs a runway to take off or land based missiles which need silos; the ship is a mobile platform which can move a 1000 km every day. Hence it is more difficult to locate and destroy. But the most respected and feared nuclear delivery system is the SLBM (Submarine Launched Ballistic Missile). The nuclear submarine can stay underwater for months, move at high speeds and is virtually undetectable. The development of SLBM requires the highest degree of technology since the missile is launched from underwater, comes to the sea surface, fires its rockets and travels towards its target. INS Arihant and proposed Sagarika missile comes under this category.

Nuclear Triad. The land, air and sea based capability described above constitutes the nuclear triad.

Strategic Deterrent. The ability of a nation to retaliate with equal intensity if attacked by its adversary. Sort of – you shoot me, I shoot you, both of us die so let’s not shoot each other. This deterrence will only work if both the nations are convinced that the other can retaliate with equal intensity. This supposedly equal capability to annihilate each other or inflict unacceptable damage keeps the balance of power and prevents nations from annihilating other nations!

Second Strike Capability. The land based missile silos are static. So are the runways from where an airborne nuclear attack can be launched. Since all nations spy actively on their adversaries, they are aware of the locations of silos and airfields. Under such circumstance, a nation could be tempted to a first nuclear strike in the belief that its strike can wipe out the adversary’s capability to retaliate. Second Strike capability is the ability of a nation to absorb the punishment from the first strike of its adversary and still be able to retaliate and inflict unacceptable damage on the adversary. A nuclear submarine is a key component here since it cannot be destroyed by the enemy during the first strike thereby giving the nation a credible second strike capability.

SSN and SSBM. SSN (Sub Surface, Nuclear) refers to a nuclear powered submarine specifically designed to hunt and kill enemy SSBMs. SSNs do not carry ballistic missiles. SSBM (Sub Surface, Ballistic Missile) are comparatively bigger submarines which are nuclear powered and designed to launch Ballistic Missiles.

Nuclear Triad. This pertains to the nuclear weapon delivery system explained above. It consists of the land based missiles, aircrafts and SSBMs.

The media is getting more defense savvy and obtrusive. I have attempted to demystify some of the oft used jargons in connection to nuclear warfare. Perhaps the next round of report/debate by Arnab Goswami will provide me with a fresh trigger to demystify more military jargon and theories.

Celebrating the launch of INS Arihant

As explained in my earlier blog post, the launch of INS Arihant completes the much needed third leg of our nuclear triad. The indigenous nuke has taken 25 years to build and is expected to be operational by 2011. The indigenous 7500km range SLBM is expected to be ready at around the same time. (Incidentally, the more discerning TV audience may have noticed that the computer simulation of the submarine shown on national TV exhibited a submarine stationed in Bay of Bengal firing a missile in the direction of Beijing.)

There was a huge article in TOI wondering why India is ‘tom-tomming’ the launch of a nuclear submarine which will become fully operational only by 2011. My retort is – why not? As an Indian, I am justifiably proud of my country developing and mastering a sophisticated technology available with a select few nations. Secondly, International relations are a bit peculiar. The fact that India had been building a nuclear submarine was known to most nations years before the formal launch of INS Arihant. With the launch, the calculation matrix of our potential adversaries has got a trifle more complicated. India has indicated that the submarine will be operational by 2011. But, if circumstances demand, can India do it earlier? How does an adversary counter the deployment of India’s nuclear submarine? Perhaps 2011 is too optimistic and the sub may not be operational by then. However, can a potential adversary take a chance? Thirdly, naval ships and submarines have traditionally showcased the might and technological advances of a nation. India’s global standing has increased dramatically with the launch of INS Arihant. Lastly, apart from the launch of indigenous submarine, the leasing of Russian Akula II nuclear submarine is also proceeding at a fairly rapid pace.

In short, India has arrived or on the verge of arriving as a major global power and tom tomming is definitely called for! Critics may point out to the skeletons tumbling out of defense closet – wrong acquisitions, human rights violations, charges of corruption etc. These are by no means condonable. But these critics could do well by studying the history of US military to understand the fact that on a broader canvas, a military power gradually fumbles its way to the position of global eminence. No military can learn all its lessons overnight – and we have every reason to be proud of our military achievements.

Sangita – आज फिर शुरू हुआ जीवन

At 18,  I was a shy girl. Extremely introvert, I was petrified of public speaking . It was she who insisted I go on the stage and give “Vote of Thanks” in one of the Rotract club event.  “Not doing it is not an option” she admonished. That was the beginning and Sangita has been my friend and mentor ever since. Continue reading Sangita – आज फिर शुरू हुआ जीवन

Media – the Saviour!

I have stopped watching the entertainment channels on the TV. The news channel provides all the ingredients of a blockbuster – violence, corruption, scandal and sex. The only difference is that, unlike the Hindi films, in real life there seems to an absence of that idealistic hero who sets everything right by the end of the movie.

Today’s newscast was especially depressing. A sting operation on the junior telecom minister which confirmed what the whole of India already knows – that corruption exists in high places. Then we had Buta Singh’s son caught in a bribery case.  Another sting operation at Sourav’s – a restaurant owned by Sourav Ganguly where bargirls were caught on camera, dancing to entice customers. And finally, we had Imraan Hashmi of serial kissing fame going public with a fact which again is well known – muslims are discouraged from owning a house in most societies.

(The rest of this article is lost – was originally hosted at http://nadeemsani.net/2009/07/31/the-fourth-estate/

Catharsis

Sunset at Ambazari lake Oct, 1991
Sunset - October, 1991

A long time ago, there was a young girl, in love with a boy who said he loved her but can not marry her for reasons not known. The girl was sad, disappointed and angry at being rejected and knew she must learn to deal with it. It was one evening in the month of October she stood on the lakeside and wrote these words…

Continue reading Catharsis

Review: Barah Anna – Worth every Anna.

barahaana
Barah Aana

Monday evening on my way back from the opthal, on an impulse we were browsing music when we came across the DVD of “Barah Aana” – Naseeruddin Shah as one of the lead actors definitely helped our decision to pick it up.  We settled to watch the movie post dinner and quiet liked the turns the movie takes. That it had no songs was a big plus. Naseeruddin Shah as usual was superb but so were the other two actors, Arjun Mathur and Vijay Raaz.

Small plot, fast pace, a 97 minute movie – works well for a working day evening watch. Continue reading Review: Barah Anna – Worth every Anna.

Oxymoron and Moron

There are two primary stereotypes of armed forces officers created by Bollywood in the minds of the general populace. The first is that of the dashing hero who dances and sings in the Regimental Mess, gets the heroine, goes and lays down his life fighting the enemy leaving a grieving but proud widow behind. The second stereotype is that of an idiosyncratic retired officer who smokes a pipe, uses ‘Bloody Hell’ a trillion times and disciplines everyone around him to the merriment of the viewers. By creating these quintessentially extreme stereotypes, there is no room left in people’s mind for the real life flesh and blood officers who have taken an early retirement.

Personally, I find the larger than life Bollywood stereotype image extremely detrimental when dealing with the corporate HR interviewer. The general perception is that defence services officers are all spit and polish, magnificently endowed with brawn and deficient in brains. So when it comes to the extremely complex corporate world, HR concludes that we won’t be able to cope up and will end up antagonizing everyone by our idiosyncracies.

The truth is that an armed force officer is fairly intelligent and rational. By virtue of facing diverse and difficult situations, he is flexible and adaptable with an ability to innovate to achieve the desired goal. As the saying goes, we are trained for all situations ranging from the ballroom to the battlefront. And if I were to quote my more brash colleagues, from the bedroom to boardroom! After all, how many corporate CVs can boast of the capabilities and expertise to handle diverse tasks ranging from taking the lady of visiting foreign dignitary sari shopping, providing succour to populace during calamities, planning operations with umpteen variables and staring down enemy guns? All this and more, in extreme operating environment, 24X7!

“But Commander, you don’t have the corporate experience or domain knowledge” is an oft heard refrain. As a mid to senior level professional, I feel that “capability” rather than ‘domain knowledge’ is more important. But then, I have decided to quit the services and seek a career in the civvy street, so I need to play by the new rules.

However, I must confess that the new rules are not easy to play by. Self praise is frowned upon in the Services and I still blush when I have to assure the HR recruiter that I am good. HR folks don’t make it easy either. I recall an interview wherein I was trying to draw the analogy between HR as practiced in the Services and HR as advocated by Gary Dessler, author of the book on HRM followed worldwide. After listening to 10 minutes of my earnest explanation, the interviewer stopped me and queried “Who is Gary Dessler?”! Neither is it easy to dispel the mistaken notion that all faujis are dimwits. During the initial phase of my most recent interview I told the interviewer” I want to assure you that an intelligent naval officer is not an oxymoron”. The svelte lady flashed a brilliant smile, nodded understandingly and asked “ Oxy what?”. I had no choice but to reply “Moron!”, realising fully well that I couldn’t possibly crack this interview!.

Meanwhile, my search for a job continues…..