Author: Swati Sani

Of memories and moments

She had met him that evening, and chatted for hours that just did not seem long enough. They dug out memories, laughed at silly and goofy things they did and those that they could but did not. Amused at the flush of youth that engulfed them, they became teenagers once again.

She caught herself unawares that night, thinking of the time long past… a time when no care in the world existed, nor mattered except the matters of the heart. The time when she fell in love for the first time. The time when she was touched tenderly, kissed for the very first time, and caressed lovingly. The moments that were frozen in time.

And then she looked by her side, towards the love of her life, her best friend, her lover and her biggest strength. Somehow things did not feel out-of-place.. the moments then and the moments now kind of existed in congruence. Both men were by her side at different times and both made her more beautiful, made her the woman she was, and she is. She silently thanked both of them for being the people they are. One a dear friend, and another her soul mate.

46

46blue
All dressed up

Since I turned 40 in 2008, I had decided to do one new thing each year – something new that I had not done in past 39 years of my life. I could mostly keep that promise to myself and have perhaps done more in past 6 years than I did in last two decades.  I parasailed, achieved a life long dream of publishing Ammi’s works online, had a fling with English Theatre which i intend to continue and went to Serengeti ,   Lake Manyara and Ngorongoro which was an amazing experience.

I never decide when the year starts as to what new thing I’d do during the year, but this year things fell in place and I learnt  Urdu script which enhanced my understanding of the language many folds. Am glad I took out time, struggled, but learnt the script, this learning though, will be an ongoing process.

The year is going to be challenging; with Aasim leaving the town for higher studies, but I am looking forward to him going out and exploring the world.  He will finally get the wings that he so deserves.

cupcakes
Woke up to delicious cupcakes baked by Tarique for me.

Woke up on my 46th birthday to delicious cupcakes that Tarique baked for me. Thank you sweetheart. I love it when you make things for me <3 The day was spent lazing around, with no specific agenda except to eat good food and we did do that – Pari treated us to lovely liver Pâté, and Bianca to awesome cookies when we went to pick up the Parsi dinner of Dhansak and Kebabs.

And  yes, I did dress up for the evening

 

 

 

As 2013 comes to an end

The year started and just whizzed by, not even giving me a few moments to pause and ponder. What did I do new this year? Nothing remarkable…. started several things and left them midway…

Lost one of my best friends to cancer and there is nothing and no one to fill that void. Miss you so much, Old Man, and I am sure I am not the only one. Atul, you meant much more to me than I ever admitted.

It is still difficult for me to believe that Atul is no longer going to be a comforting online presence; even as I struggle to accept that he is not there, another friend, who was just getting close  after several years of not being in communication had a fatal fall. You were a beautiful person, Kavita I wish we had more time to know you closely. I will always miss that friendship that never blossomed completely.

Just after Christmas, I got one more blow.  A man who was larger than life itself passed away. A well wisher, and an extremely talented actor, Farouque Saheb was one of the most down to earth person I have ever interacted with. I will miss his occasional phone calls and messages…

Life has its own ways… and while I am alive, I  must live my life to its fullest and on my own terms. People who are gone would not wish any less, I am sure, because each one of them lived their life on their own terms.

2013 also saw Aasim turn 16, an important milestone in his life; he gave his IGCSE this year and is growing up to become a fine man. I feel proud to be his mother. Next year he will be away from home, staying in a hostel for continuation of his education. Though as parents we feel we have equipped him to be on his own, somewhere there is a string that tugs… I guess that will always be there. It’s an emotional bond and I wish it stays that way.

Things changed a bit on work front, we  have a talented and much stronger team and a few products to be proud of. SANIsoft is embarking on new growth path and we are determined to take it to new heights.

I don’t know what 2014 will bring, as I write this I remember a very old and beloved friend who loved to say and sing Que Sera Sera… whatever will be will be, the future’s not ours to see.

 

Farooque Shaikh : As I knew him.

Farouque Sheikh
Farouque Sheikh

Some people are larger than life. Farooque Saheb was one of them. This morning I woke up to the news of his passing away and for a few minutes, it just did not sink in… It was not as if we talked or messaged on daily basis a phone call once in a year, a few messages exchanged was enough. When it came to greetings on festive occasions, more often than not I found myself replying to his greetings, and he beat me to it again, just a few days back on Christmas eve.

He was a celebrity,and one does not expect them to take initiative in maintaining relationships, and yet he was a man who took efforts to maintain relationships.

I still remember, like it happened yesterday, when a few years ago I received a handwritten letter from him asking for Dr. Zarina Sani’s book (which was not in publication) and our subsequent phone calls. It was his encouragement that made me start the Devanagari transcriptions of that Ammi’s works so that it can reach a wider audience. I will forever be indebted to him for that little push which I needed at that time;  when I did not believe I would be able to take up such a big task. He not only encouraged me to start the work, he took active interest in knowing what stage the work is in. When I published “Ekkyavan” on http://zarinasani.org, he wanted to have it in print, for his collection.

Farouque Saheb you will be missed and always remembered fondly. I see yet another vacuum in my life that can never be filled.

Aasim’s farewell address

Aasim finished his IGCSE exams yesterday and is looking forward to the long break (during which he has planned many activities).

He gave an impromptu farewell speech as the class valedictorian. A speech that makes me very proud.

 

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क्या कहिये मुझे क्या याद आया

मजरूह की यह नज़म मुझे बेहद पसंद है। एक मीठा सा भोलापन और भीनी-भीनी खुशबू है इसमें जो मेरे अंदर बस गयी है इसे पढ़ने के बाद।

फिर शाम का आँचल लहराया

मग़रिब में वो तारा एक चमका,
फिर शाम का परचम लहराया
शबनम सा वो मोती इक टपका,
फ़ितरत ने आँचल फैलाया
नज़रें बहकी, दिल बहला,
क्या कहिये मुझे क्या याद आया
टीले की तरफ चरवाहे की,
बंसी की सदा हल्की हल्की
है शाम की देवी की चुनरी,
शानों से परी ढ़लकी ढ़लकी
रह रह के धड़कते सीने में,
अहसास की मय छलकी छलकी
इस बात ने कितना तड़पाया,
क्या कहिये मुझे क्या याद आया

— मजरूह सुल्तानपुरी

Don’t say goodbye

Atul Chitnis
Atul Chitnis.
20th Feb 1962 – 3rd June 2013

My friend,
today you are
in a better place
where pain
does not exist,
and I see you
happy.

Your body has left us
but your love,
the bond we shared
lives within me
and within
everyone you loved
so dearly.

When I look
at the rainbow
I reach you
as you watch
the sun rise
from your hidden
balcony.

I talk to you
at night
when the stars shine.
The flowers
in my garden
and, yours
bloom.

I will miss you
but I know
whenever I want
to talk you will
reach out to me
through the words
you’ve left behind.

My friend,
you are in my heart
while I am alive,
and you will
continue to live
in my heart
even when I cease to.

वीरानी

अब न रहा वो साज़ जो सात सुर बजायेगा
टूट के निकलते हैं अल्फाज़ जुबाँ से
मीठी बातों से अब ये दिल न बहल पायेगा
पुराने किस्सों की मत करो बातें मुझसे
दर्द जो छिपा रक्खा था, फिर उभर आयेगा
मत दोहराओ चाँद के, तारों का किस्से
जख्म अभी सूखा नहीं है; छेड़ोगे तो तड़प जायेगा
इस वीराने में कौन रहता है, क्यूँ रहता है
किसे पड़ी है, कोई क्यूँ यहाँ आयेगा

–स्वाति